Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Girlfriends are a Gift

Hello all! Thank you for keeping up with my blog, I love being able to express myself through this outlet! I promise I will post kitchen pictures today (finally)...but I also really want to write today about the importance of girlfriends. In my original postpartum OCD story (my first blog post) I kind of glossed over a real turning point in my recovery. One of the single most vital parts to my fight against OCD was my outpatient treatment. Outpatient was a 3 week program that I went to 4 days a week that included group therapy, individual therapy and meeting with a psychiatrist to get the appropriate medicines. This program was really a lifesaver for me, but I would have never done it without the support of my girlfriends.

I truly have the best friends in the world. With a husband that travels often, my girlfriends have really become my family. The best part of being so close with my girlfriends is that half of them live on my street! It's like having a supportive community right outside my door. They are there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on or just someone to vent to. During the time when my anxiety was the highest, I didn't know what to do. I felt helpless and trapped. I was scared to be home alone with the boys and was completely convinced I had suddenly become dangerous. It was terrible. I would get some relief when my husband was home, but was always anxiously anticipating what would happen when he went back to work.

One weekend I was supposed to go across the street to a wedding reception with my neighbors. I walked over and walked through the door, set down our gift, and walked right back to my house. I went behind into our sandbox and just started crying. I couldn't even hang out with my friends anymore, I was at rock bottom. That night, my neighbor Bridget came over. She asked me what I needed. What could make me better. I mentioned an outpatient program I had heard about from my therapist, but knew I wouldn't be able to bring both of the boys with me to it. She said I needed to go, even if it meant Joel not working for a bit.

I still saw no way the outpatient program would work. I also hate asking for help, so I kind of decided I would just tough it out and hope that my problem would go away. It didn't. The next day, I was having an especially hard morning, I was truly miserable and crying 24/7...that is when everything changed. Bridget had told my other neighbor Sara about the outpatient program. Sara texted me and offered to watch Brayden so I could attend the program. Before she texted me I had decided there was no way I could go to the program, her offering to watch him was the push I needed to get more help. Once I had Brayden's care figured out (which I would have never been able to do without great friends (2 Jessicas)), I was finally able to focus on getting myself better. Going somewhere everyday where people truly understood my problems, and finally being put on medication that worked was exactly what I needed to begin getting better.

I'm so grateful for my supportive friends. They are always there for me when I need them and they truly care about me and my family. Going through postpartum OCD has been the hardest thing I have done in my entire life, but I truly believe I have had such a great recovery because of the supportive people I have been blessed with in my life. I will be forever appreciative to my friends for helping me during such a difficult time, so even if I don't say it as much as I should, thanks girls!

Thanks for reading!



Chels


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